NOTE FROM JOHN:

One of the writer/producers of “The X-Files”
recently said that this season of the show may be
its last. How *do* you end a show famous for never
giving the whole story?

The Top 9 Ways to End “The X-Files”

9> Oh, is that still on?

8> Scully finds out that she had the power to go home all along, and that the ruby slippers figured prominently in the Kennedy assassination.

7> In a surprise twist, it turns out the black oil was just trying to get the formula for McDonald’s secret sauce.

6> Scully rips away Smoking Man’s face, to reveal an obscure character from the first episode, who then shakes his fist and says, “And I would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those blasted kids and their dog!”

5> Just as we’re about to discover the hidden truth behind everything, the network cuts to the opening credits of “Heidi.”

4> *Vin* Scully announces that “It’s going back, waaay, back - It’s gone!”

3> I don’t care, but if Gillian doesn’t finally show some skin, I’ll have wasted 10 years.

2> At long last we learn that behind the whole conspiracy was Alf. It’s always been Alf.

and the Number 1 Way to End “The X-Files”…

1> Scully discovers that the truth isn’t “out there,” it’s in Emmanuel Kant’s “Prolegomena to Any Future Metaphysics.”

.

Credits:

Selected from 30 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Joseph Moore, Concord, CA — 1, 4, 9 (5th #1,
Hat trick!)
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 2
David Goudsward, Boynton Beach, FL — 3
Mike Sarno, Towanda, PA — 5
Steve Thomas, Atlanta, GA — 6, 9
Jaqk Brounstein, Bellingham, WA — 7
Charles d’Olive, Waterloo, IA — 8
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — RU List Name
John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI — Prime Director