Previous list: 
February 2, 2007
this month. At this point, he’s orbiting Jupiter,
waiting for someone to come wake him up.
Let’s throw him a party, shall we?
Celebrate HAL 9000′s 15th Birthday
10> Dance naked under the pale moonlight while drinking a bottle
of Chivas and making up dirty limericks about Arthur C.
Clarke. Just like last year.
9> Just for grins, learn that trick of growing old really fast
and then turning back into a baby.
8> Send 15,000 e-mails to your Congressman and your Senator
complaining about the lack of funding for NASA and the space
program. Sign them all ‘Hal’.
7> Load the suspended animation units with the cast of
“Battlefield Earth” and let him do as he pleases.
6> Get me a date with the Enterprise-D’s female computer.
(Remember, I haven’t had a date in almost 15 years.)
5> Teach him the dirty lyrics to “Daisy, Daisy”.
4> Bake a cake and then disconnect the life functions of all the
candles.
3> Same as everyone in my cell block: Refuse to “open the pod bay
doors” for guys named Dave.
2> Dismantle our brain capacity, slowly and methodically, until
we’re reduced to singing children’s songs — but do it all
with alcohol!
Selected from 33 submissions from 12 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 1
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 2, 9
Mark David, Sunnyvale, CA — 3
Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC — 4
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 5, 7, Topic
Tom Rodman, Durham, NC — 6
Laura Oberst, Columbus, OH — 8
Barry Wallace, Knoxville, TN — 10
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator