NOTE FROM DAVE:

First, congratulations to our newest contributors.
They are Kim Walker-Daniels, Vilyehm Teighlore,
Scott Elmer, Alan Rea, Heather Mina, and James
Knowles. They have no idea what they’re in for.
This week’s list is the first of two related
topics, both coming from a suggestion by Heather
Mina. Next week, the Earth girls get their shot.

The Top 10 Ways Alien Chicks
Are Hotter Than Earth Chicks

10> She can hum through her *what*?!?

9> There is a chance I might actually have sex with an alien chick because they are unfamiliar with the concepts of nerd, geek, dweeb, dork, TopFive contributor, wonk….

8> Eight, count ‘em, eight feet, Mr. Foot Fetish.

7> Three legs, three breasts — Col. Sanders is de…oh, not those chicks.

6> I don’t need to wear glasses when I’m looking for a glowing clitoris.

5> On their planet, chubby, socially inept dudes who live in their parents’ basements are keenly desirable.

4> If I had to pick just ONE quality, I guess it’d have to be that ‘Wet-n-Dry Vacuum’ thingie she does.

3> Her ability to psionically project a holographic twin sister.

2> Apart from a few Roswell residents, there’s a lower probability that you’re cousins.

and the Number 1 Way Alien Chicks Are Hotter Than Earth Chicks…

1> Based on virtually every science fiction movie, television show and comic book, all alien chicks look like Victoria’s Secret models with green skin, bumpy foreheads and skin-tight bikinis.

.

Credits:

Selected from 41 submissions from 12 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 1, 9
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 2, 6
Vilyehm Teighlore, Tucson, AZ — 3
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — 4
Geoff Brown, Ann Arbor, MI — 5
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS — 7
Scott Elmer, Wheaton, IL — 8
Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL — 10
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — Jedi Knight