NOTE FROM DAVE:

As frightening as it might seem, David Hasselhoff
has made it known he’d like to see a “Knight Rider”
movie made. For the uninformed, K.I.T.T is a
computerized high tech car that drives itself
and makes pithy comments throughout the show.
Here are some of K.I.T.T.’s unknown (until now) features.

The Top 9 Unknown
Features of K.I.T.T.

9> Alternative pink paintjob it likes to wear in private.

8> Thanks to newly installed holographic imaging technology, it’s able to convince itself it’s being driven by someone – *anyone* — other than that giant hairsprayed meatslab!

7> “Turbo boost, K.I.T.T.” takes you to the nearest Starbucks drive-through for a double espresso.

6> K.I.T.T.’s tires are self-inflating. With everything ELSE about that vehicle so self-inflated, why should the tires be different?

5> K.I.T.T. is not actually a super-intelligent car, but a super- intelligent motorcycle in drag.

4> If you want to know which way its wheels are aligned, I can now tell you it passed My Mother the Car, but rear-ended Herbie.

3> It can perform the entire part of John Adams from “1776″ verbatim.

2> Can join with its twin, K.A.T.T., to make a yummy, crispy candy bar.

and the Number 1 Unknown Feature of K.I.T.T….

1> Cup holders. Really high-tech cup holders with super-advanced cup-holding mechanisms that significantly boost the vehicular cupholdosity. And a coin holder, too.

.

Credits:

Selected from 30 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 1, 5, Topic
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 2, 3, 8 (Hat trick!)
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 4
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — 6
Bruce Kane, Bentonville, AR — 7
G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa — 9
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator

Sorry, Sorry Knight

Evil K.I.T.T. got that way because it’s running an unpatched version of Windows.
(RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)

Laser-guided missiles specifically targeted to take out believable plot elements.
(RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)

A plastic surgery program, which, incidentally, explains the huge difference between Michael’s original face and the one he wound up with.
(Laura Oberst, Columbus, OH)

Special window tinting guaranteed to make anyone inside look 25 years younger.
(Randy Travis, Wichita Falls, TX)

What’s it been doing since ‘86? Lately, mostly Internet humor list submissions.
(RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS)


Runners Up list name
(Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA)