The Top 10 Things You Don’t Want to
Hear in the Elevator at an SF Convention

10> “Signal the Mother Ship! The specimens in this turbolift will just fill our quota for new slaves!”

9> “If you don’t put your ‘lightsaber’ back in your pants, I’m calling security, Yoda boy.”

8> “Sensors Detect a Noxious Gas Cloud Forming.”

7> “This is just like the episode where Picard got stuck in the turbolift with the kids. Okay I’ll be Picard… you can be Number 1. That’s right… if I get hungry you’re first to get eaten.”

6> “Nobody Move!! My pet radioactive spider just got loose!!”

5> “I mean, it’s just a simple red shirt, what could possibly go wr– hey, why have we stopped moving?”

4> “Dude, I just totally shook hands with Tricia Helfer at the Galactica table — we’re getting together for drinks later. No, seriously. I saw it in her eyes. She wanted me. Um… can you tell me where someone goes for ‘drinks?’”

3> “Who’s tentacle is on my ass?”

2> “Third Floor!! Wookiees, Cookies and Rookies… Yup, this is where the Hospitality Room is….”

and the Number 1 Thing You Don’t Want to Hear in the Elevator at an SF Convention…

1> 1st Klingon: “Does this seem infected to you?”
2nd Klingon: *slurp* … “Nope.”

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Credits:

Selected from 41 submissions from 12 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Barry Wallace, Knoxville, TN — 1, 4
Kyros Starr, Everett, WA — 2, 8
Peter Heltzer, Buffalo Grove, IL — 3, 7, Topic
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 5
Tom Rodman, Durham, NC — 6, 10
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 9
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator