The Top 10 Things You Don’t
Want to Hear From Your Navigator

10> “Does this map come in Braille?”

9> “What’s an event horizon again? We passed one of those a while back and I was just wondering.”

8> “What the Hell are co-ordinates, and what are you supposed to do with them?”

7> “Um, well, as it turns out, the Global Positioning System didn’t really work so well once we left the actual globe.”

6> “If any one needs me I’ll be checking out the escape pods.”

5> Bah! Orbital mechanics is for sissies. We speed up to go forward!

4> “Course laid in… for love.”

3> “Worm hole, black hole — look, I found you a hole, didn’t I?”

2> “Aye Captain, course set for Rigel 7, speed set at Warp 3 and those pants make your ass look delicious!”

and the Number 1 Thing You Don’t Want to Hear From Your Navigator…

1> By my calculations, the odds of you pulling over to ask for $%#*@ directions, like I told you to, are 146,502,349 to 1.

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Credits:

Selected from 39 submissions from 13 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Tracy Lunquist, DeLand, FL — 1
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 2, 4, 6 (Hat trick!)
Chris Pulliam, San Dimas, CA — 3
Dan Thompson, Austin, TX — 5, Topic
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 7
Tom Rodman, Durham, NC — 8
Chris von Seggern, Cibolo, TX — 9
Genevre Wolf, Durham, NC — 10
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator