August 17, 2007     

The Top 10 Things
Overheard on a Sci-Fi Cooking Show

10> “TAKE YOUR PAWS OFF MY BANANA NUT MUFFINS, YOU DAMN DIRTY
APES!”

9> “I don’t care what it smells like! Just make something
appetizing out of it!”

8> “…. and then you blend in the blood of your vanquished
enemies…”

7> “Iron Chef Gallifrey, the Lord of Time Travel Cuisine, uses his
Tardis to go back and steal Chef Allen’s recipe before he even
prepares it.”

6> “Now this will call for a bit of spice, so make sure you book
your flight to Arrakis early.”

5> “Remember, there ain’t much meat on an Ewok once you yank
their fur off, so always abduct a few extra.”

4> “Spoo are best when freshly killed, so remember to take a large
dose of antidepressants before going out to harvest them.”

3> “Now we add a full can of Soylent Blue — *not* Green, mind
you; this stuff is 100% people-free…”

2> “Next on Cooking for Robots: using WD-40 as a Social
Lubricant…”

and the Number 1 Thing Overheard on a Sci-Fi Cooking Show…

1> “Don’t steam the brains, that takes the wrinkles out. Wrinkles
hold in the flavor.”

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Credits:

Selected from 48 submissions from 15 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Guy Reeves, Houston, TX — 1
Peter Heltzer, Buffalo Grove, IL — 2
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 3
Kyros Starr, Everett, WA — 4, 8
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 5, Topic
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 6, 10
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 7
Tom Rodman, Durham, NC — 9
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator

RUNNERS UP list — Burp Surprise

“…zen put de tribble in ze water, umm bork bork…”
     (James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)

“OK, open the oven door, Hal. I said, open the door. HAL! I
mean it — open the friggin’ door!”
     (Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)