March 9th, 2007
The Top 10 Uses of Gaseous Anomalies
10> Magnify the energy level by reprogramming the deflector array to operate at fundamental harmonics of the sub-quark radiation frequency, then ignite it with a photon torpedo to destroy the Romulan fleet. Same as in that “Next Generation” episode.
9> Join them with the seltzer anomalies and bring relief to the universe.
8> Combine with either a black hole or an asteroid to get instant lowbrow cosmic comedy.
7> Hot alien babes use it to keep that lecherous Capt. Kirk at bay.
6> Hybrid car too tame? No time to wait for hydrogen fuel cell availability? Next time your spacecraft takes you past a gaseous anomaly, just bring those empty gas cans for a free fill, top up your car’s tank when you get home, and you’re good to go!
5> Fill balloon. Inhale. Crank call Starfleet Command in funny high voice.
4> Guaranteed privacy in an airlock.
3> Stunt double for George W Bush.
2> “Now, who here can tell me why this is called the Taco Bell Cluster?”
and the Number 1 Use of Gaseous Anomalies…
1> Great, colorful locale for “Fartscape” episodes.
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Credits:
Selected from 35 submissions from 12 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 1, 8
Ryan Garcia, Austin, TX — 2
Guy Reeves, Houston, TX — 3
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 4, 7
Mark David, Sunnyvale, CA — 5
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — 6, Topic
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 9
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS — 10
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator
