NOTE FROM DAVE:

Every year the staff at Beloit college
comes up with a list of examples that
explains the mindset of the incoming students.
We wondered what the students 20 years
in the future will be thinking about.

The Top 10 Things on the
Minds of Students in 2025

10> They don’t recall when alien probes were free and only given out to carefully selected individuals during the beta test.

9> Clairol will have always made do-it-yourself gender change kits.

8> They don’t remember when you had to use a phone to order a pizza instead of whispering into the air and waiting for the Department of Homeland Security Secret Police to deliver it.

7> I gotta see the chick androids in the Computer Science department. I wanna see if they are anatomically correct “down there.”

6> How to beat the pre-S.A.T. steroid test.

5> They will have never known a world without at least one Martian nose flute tune in the Top 40.

4> Whether or not Michael Jackson’s clone will be found guilty.

3> There are rumors that President Spears once had a singing career, but who cares?

2> Downloading a date to the prom from an online girlfriend-sharing site.

and the Number 1 Thing on the Minds of Students in 2025…

1> Hey, Doob! Sign up for a Bio major. All the chicks get free boob jobs!

.

Credits:

Selected from 28 submissions from 8 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Arnold Gugarty Worcester, MA — 1, 7
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 2, 6
Doug Crews, Oceanside, CA — 3
Laura Oberst, Columbus, OH — 4
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 5, 9
Douglas Bishop, Fort Wayne, IN — 8, 10, Topic
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — Rookie No More