The Top 10 Things
Not to Say to Your Robot

10> “Nice nuts.”

9> “Your warranty runs out when?”

8> “Well, if you stop being useful, I suppose we could turn you into a garden fountain.”

7> “Yes, those pants do make your actuators look fat.”

6> “Do you know Brent Spiner?”

5> “That’s a mighty big blaster you have there, Rusty. Be careful or you’ll shoot your positronic ass off.”

4> “Next time I ask for head, leave yours connected to your shoulders.”

3> “I’m sorry Mr. Gore, you’ve lost the election.”

2> “You know, you could be replaced by an illegal immigrant.”

and the Number 1 Thing Not to Say to Your Robot…

1> “Y’know how many robots it takes to screw in a light bulb? Thanks to the Second Law, as many as I order to do it. Now dance, metal monkey, dance!”

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Credits:

Selected from 25 submissions from 8 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Eric Akawie, Annandale, VA — 1, 2, 7 (Hat trick!)
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 3, 5
Genevre Wolf, Lakewood, Ohio — 4
Bruce Kane, Bentonville, AR — 6
Laura Oberst, Columbus, OH — 8, 9
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 10
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator