The Top 10 Things Not to Do
While Adjusting the Anti-Matter Flow

10> Do not adjust your own package.

9> Daydream about your Counselor Troi vs. Lt. Yar jello wrestling holodeck program.

8> Cross the Streams (unlicensed nuclear accelerator models only.)

7> Write your name in the flow (guys only.)

6> Watch “Debbie Does Deneb 4.”

5> Disengage the Artificial Gravity Generator.

4> Use the anti-matter stream to warm up your Galactic Hot Pocket.

3> Light your farts in front of the injector.

2> Flush the tachyon regulators. I don’t care what the writers said, that’s simply unsafe.

and the Number 1 Thing Not to Do While Adjusting the Anti-Matter Flow…

1> Play a game of limbo under the anti-matter stream.

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Credits:

Selected from 44 submissions from 13 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 1, 4
Dan Thompson, Austin, TX — 2, Topic
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 3
Tom Rodman, Durham, NC — 5, 6
Mark Leonard, Sacramento, CA — 7, 9
Barry Wallace, Knoxville, TN — 8
Guy Reeves, Houston, TX — 10
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator