October 13, 2006     

NOTE FROM DAVE:

Last week’s Galaxy News feed reported
researchers had made a number of
interesting discoveries at the dig where
Los Angeles used to be. Here are some of
the more significant items they found.

The Top 10 Things Found During
the Excavation of Ancient Los Angeles

(originally published on September 14, 2091)

10> A baseball bat, labeled “Rodney King Slugger.”

9> A prophetic piece of paper with an extremely accurate list of
things we have found during our excavations.

8> Endless advertisements for “escort” services, a clear
indication of the difficulty of navigating the city prior to
teleportation pads.

7> Eerily preserved remains from 2022, of thousands of people
standing in line for “Star Wars VII: The Jedi Have Fallen…
and They Can’t Get Up!”

6> A documentary about an evil cyborg killing machine becoming
governor of California.

5> Windows XP. What the heck were those people thinking!

4> A protest placard reading: “Tectonic stabilizers? We don’t need
no stinking tectonic stabilizers!!”

3> Most women were buried with two bags of silicone as a symbol
of wealth and status.

2> A traffic jam, still in progress.

and the Number 1 Thing Found During the Excavation of Ancient Los Angeles…

1> Not so strangely, in this site reclaimed from sand and desert,
much evidence of a cult of dune-worship (in which a group
called “Herberts” served as high priests) was discovered.
Many of their books and conflicting moving image media files
still remain.

.

Credits:

Selected from 40 submissions from 13 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — 1
Guy Reeves, Houston, TX — 2
Eric Akawie, Annandale, VA — 3
Tom Rodman, Durham, NC — 4, 10
Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC — 5
Doug Crews, Oceanside, CA — 6
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 7
Dan Thompson, Austin, TX — 8
G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa — 9
Douglas Bishop, Fort Wayne, IN — Topic
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator