The Top 10 Signs Your
School Board Is Run by Aliens

10> They just keep saying “Resistance to standardized testing is futile!”

9> The board unanimously approves a measure to put kids in detention on next week’s cafeteria menu.

8> Demographic balance is maintained by busing kids to the Delta Quadrant.

7> Out: Detention. In: Gom Jabbar box.

6> Turns out the substitute teachers really *do* have eyes in the back of their heads.

5> The math text books have had several chapters added to include the equations necessary for computing interstellar travel.

4> Hairstyles that cover the ears are banned, especially for those succulent female earlobes.

3> The budget for astronomy class now includes a field trip.

2> Insists on holding their meetings in a Nitrogen-Chlorine atmosphere.

and the Number 1 Sign Your School Board Is Run by Aliens…

1> Every day at band practice it’s those same damn five notes from “Close Encounters.”

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Credits:

Selected from 40 submissions from 12 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 1, 7
Tom Rodman, Durham, NC — 2
Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC — 3
Dan Thompson, Austin, TX — 4
Chris Pulliam, San Dimas, CA — 5, 6, 9 (Hat trick!)
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 8, 10
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — Topic
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator