May 11, 2007     

NOTE FROM DAVE:

With the completion of the third season
of Battlestar Galactica on the Sci-Fi
network, there are all kinds of speculation
about who is or is not a Cylon.

The Top 10 Signs Your
Best Friend Is a Cylon

10> You were willing to accept the fact that she was one of a set
of triplets. But dodecaheptuplets is a bit hard to swallow.

9> You suggest getting juiced. You grab a few beers, he sticks
his toe into an electrical outlet.

8> You notice that his deodorant smells just like WD-40.

7> He’s so nice and so agreeable. I mean, all this “by your
command” stuff.

6> Programming in C gets him horny, and not in a normal nerdboy
kinda way; we’re talkin’ full on “evil alien robot overlord
horny enough to strupp the entire universe up the black hole
without lube” if you know what I mean.

5> After an unexpected half-hour long monologue about God and
love, he cleans and defragments your hard drive with a sternly
worded threat.

4> The girlfriend is well-lubricated in more ways than one.

3> Her dateless Friday night: vanilla candles, a personal
massager, and a DVD of “2001″.

2> She has pretty much everything in the house chromed because it
“reminds her of dad”.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Best Friend Is a Cylon…

1> He has a disturbing tendency to open fire on every Dodge Viper
he sees.

.

Credits:

Selected from 30 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 1, 9
Mark David, Sunnyvale, CA — 2
Chris Woodall, Dayton, KY — 3, 5
Guy Reeves, Houston, TX — 4
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 6
Pat Bailey, Bremerton WA — 7
Tom Rodman, Durham, NC — 8
Peter Heltzer, Buffalo Grove, IL — 10
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — Viper Pilot in Training