The Top 10 Signs Aliens
Have Taken Over Your Workplace

10> They’re not even trying to hide it: they put up a huge sign right outside the entrance that clearly says “Microsoft.”

9> Senior managers are curiously devoid of emotions.

8> The SUVs in the parking lot are not the worst gas guzzlers on site anymore by a longshot.

7> There were 27 hands at the 3:00 all-hands meeting. There are only 7 people on your team.

6> Supply-room sex has gotten even more awkward.

5> We keep explaining that its the number of fingers on one hand but Chris White just can’t grasp the concept of “5.”

4> You start finding tentacle prints on the photocopier’s glass surface.

3> The Vice President of Marketing is requesting reimbursment for her “pod implants.”

2> Theme of the company picnic? “To Serve Man.”

and the Number 1 Sign Aliens Have Taken Over Your Workplace…

1> Posted harassment policy bans implanting your eggs in a co-worker’s abdomen without their express consent.

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Credits:

Selected from 44 submissions from 12 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 1, 9
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 2
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 3
Dan Thompson, Austin, TX — 4, 6
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 5
Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC — 7
Peter Heltzer, Buffalo Grove, IL — 8
Mark David, Sunnyvale, CA — 10
Chris von Seggern, Cibolo, TX — Topic
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator

RUNNERS UP list — Alien Relations Complaints

Birthday celebrator goes missing, again, and the cake tastes funny.
(Guy Reeves, Houston, TX)

Candy jars in reception area now filled with Reese’s Pieces.
(Randy Lee, Burke, VA)

Sexual harassment claims are way up since the Orion Slave Girls were brought in to assist the accounting department.
(Peter Heltzer, Buffalo Grove, IL)

You had to get a restraining order to protect your female employees from William Shatner.
(Scott Elmer, Wheaton, IL)