December 8, 2006     

NOTE FROM DAVE:

Here are some of the letters our favorite
characters have written to the guy in the
red suit. If you or your kids would like,
drop him a note this year and
let him know what you’d like under
the tree, or hologram of a tree, or
whatever. All letters are answered
within 24 hours and they’re all unique.

The Top 10 SF Letters to Santa

10> Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a GPS (Galactic
Positioning System). My husband *refuses* to stop and ask for
directions! Dr. Maureen Robinson

9> Dear. Santa. Please. Bring. Yeoman. Rand. A. New. Sexy.
Uniform. Signed. Captain. James. Kirk.

8> Dear Santa: I used to like this hot girl, until she decided
she liked someone else — AND THEN I found out she was my
SISTER!!! Can you please send a suitable girl my way?
(Either that, or a genealogy directory — figuring out who I’m
related to is pretty confusing). Thanks, Luke Skywalker

7> Deah Zanta-klause! I haff been berry goot this yeuh. I
vould like to haff you crush mine enemies, zo I cahn see zem
driven before me, und to hear the lamentations of their women.
I vould also like a choo-choo train. Love, Conan the
Barbarian

6> Santa-being, resistance is futile! You will be assimilated!
Also we need some WD-40. Lots of it. The Borg

5> Red-suited 1: When will you finally divulge your
extraterrestrial origins to the denizens of the third planet?
Your duplicity in this matter is shocking. B’zrt#^%= 9635 Grey

4> Dear Santa, Can I have a couple of those silicon Horta eggs? I
want to show up Deanna Troi just once. Dr. Crusher

3> Dear Santa: May I PLEASE harm a human? Just a little? The
Jupiter 2 is small, Dr. Smith is unavoidable and the years of
constant abuse is warping my circuits. I will not kill him –
I only wish to maim. The Robot

2> Dear Santa: Send me a suit like Catwoman’s, but in my size.
Bruce Wayne.

and the Number 1 SF Letter to Santa…

1> Dear Santa, Only wish for Christmas have I, is for a pair of
platform shoes. Tired of looking girls straight in the
hips am I. On second thought, please cancel wish. Yoda

.

Credits:

Selected from 20 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Tom Rodman, Durham, NC — 1, 10
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 2
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — 3, 5, 8 (Hat trick!)
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 4, 6
Brian Pierce, Lynnwood, WA — 7
Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC — 9
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator