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March 2, 2007      Share

The Top 10 Sentences
From Third-Rate SF Stories

10> As he was led to die in an arcane alien ritual, Tank McPhoton
tried one last time to apologize. How was he to know that
what he took to be an extended hand of friendship which he
gripped firmly and shook vigorously was actually the Supreme
Ruler’s private parts?

9> Frank watched the mushroom cloud spread across the horizon
with annoyance, knowing that this meant more weeks of
disruption to regular cross-Manhattan train service while the
debris was cleared.

8> As the F-AB-603 Klydor-class Imperial Interceptor star ship
dropped out of hyperspace and entered orbit around planet
827Evad, the glow of the blue star Ensyiarrar cast a shadow of
Commodore Acthulio’s hand hovering over the self-destruct
button.

7> I lived on the land, she lived in the water. It gave shore
leave a whole new meaning. Or the same old meaning, except
with bigger crabs.

6> As one, the Spacemarines stood up, raised their spacerifles in
salute, then marched out the spacedoors to the spacedock,
where their spaceship was waiting to boldly take them where
they’d all been before: Space!

5> You could tell it was a real UFO because there weren’t any
wires holding it up and it smelled like outer space.

4> The red dwarf just kept looking smaller, and redder, somehow;
until Klep-Graknezz could hardly tell if it was Doc, Grumpy,
or Sneezy he’d been arguing with about the ray gun’s misfire.

3> Frodo felt his BVDs moisten with fear.

2> She was a tentacled Squid and I was a horny Toad, but our
species didn’t matter. We married and soon there were
little horny suckers running all over the place.

and the Number 1 Sentence From a Third-Rate SF Story …
1> Snarp wasn’t sure just *what* he was looking at; it seemed
humanoid, though the features and limbs were laid out in
strangely peculiar ways. No matter, he was pretty sure he
could still have sex with it.


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Credits:

Selected from 36 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — 1, 4
Guy Reeves, Houston, TX — 2, 7
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 3, Topic
Ryan Garcia, Austin, TX — 5
Mark David, Sunnyvale, CA — 6
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS — 8
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 9
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 10
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator

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