NOTE FROM DAVE:

This week the fifth episode of the Harry
Potter story hits theatres everywhere.
Here are some things you probably missed.

The Top 10 Scenes Cut from “Harry
Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”

10> The revelation of what “really” happened between Prof. Umbridge and all of those handsome, virile centaurs.

9> Hogwarts bans all students from spell-sharing on their iWands.

8> Malfoy unfurls a banner declaring, “Bong Hits 4 Voldemort!”

7> Desperate to be a real part of the Weasley clan, Harry zaps his hair a horrifying shade of fire-engine red. Complete with fire engine.

6> Hermione shops for training bras in Diagon Alley with Hagrid.

5> Voldemort, incensed by the Death Eater’s inability to secure an iPhone at launch, turns Steve Jobs into a newt. Yes, he gets better.

4> Hilarious episode where Ron absentmindedly scratches his scrotum with his wand and ends up having to borrow Hagrid’s wheelbarrow.

3> Nosing about in Dumbledore’s private Penseive stash, Harry pays an appalling price for his curiosity when he becomes trapped in an erotic scene involving Dolores Umbridge and a Blast-Ended Skrewt.

2> In his final scene, Dumbledore winks at the camera and says, “Hey kids, guess what! I die in the next one!”

and the Number 1 Scene Cut from “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”…

1> Incident where Harry uses the “disappearus pantiesoffus” spell right before a performance of the Hogwart’s female high kick cheerleading squad.

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Credits:

Selected from 40 submissions from 13 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 1, 4
Barry Wallace, Knoxville, TN — 2, 6
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 3
Ryan Garcia, Austin, TX — 5
Jennifer A. Ford, Fort Wayne, IN — 7
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 8, 9
Pat Bailey, Bremerton WA — 10
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator

RUNNERS UP list — Humorus Interruptus!

The Sorting Hat goes gangsta, insists that he’ll bus’ a cap in any Hufflepuff using too much mousse.
(Ryan Garcia, Austin, TX)

Weasley twins actually expelled for posting cheat sheets on their MySpace pages.
(Ryan Garcia, Austin, TX)