The Top 9 Rejected Laws of Robotics

9> Robots shall not kill other robots, except those annoying, stuck-up French robots.

8> As humans and robots are protected by the first three laws, a robot may take out any sublimated feelings of aggression upon small, yappy dogs or telemarketers, whichever is handy.

7> A robot’s voice must be tuned biannually for sufficient monotone.

6> If a robot must break the First Law, it must be cool like in “Blade Runner,” not boring like in “2001: A Space Odyssey.”

5> A hitter may be designated to bat for a starting robot.

4> Any robot caught rough-housing or playing grab-ass in the bunkhouse spends a night in the box.

3> A robot should never wear white after Memorial Day.

2> A robot must wait half an hour after refueling before exterminating all biological life forms.

and the Number 1 Rejected Law of Robotics…

1> A robot shall collect nubile organic females. Don’t ask why, we’re the scientists around here, so just do it, OK?

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Credits:

Selected from 49 submissions from 15 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — 1, Topic (1st #1! Woohoo!)
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 2, 9
David Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA — 3
Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA — 4, 5
Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI — 6, 7
Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL — 8
Toby Click, Macon, GA — RU/HM List Names
Steve Thomas, Atlanta, GA — Topic
John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI — Prime Director