NOTE FROM DAVE:

This week and next we celebrate
(in our own twisted way) the debut of
“War of the Worlds” scheduled for June 29.

The Top 10 Reasons Mars
Decided to Attack Earth

10> We’re sick and tired of you sending those stupid little robots! They messed up the sand works of some of our greatest artists!

9> Physically disputing rights to the “Mars Bars” brand is cheaper than lawyers.

8> To get some of them exotic *two*-breasted women!

7> It’s obvious you humans have no idea how to take care of your planet. So we’ll make sure it’s no longer an issue.

6> The unfortunate misconception that Ray Walston was executed.

5> It was a slow Sunday afternoon, no games were on and the wife wanted the crater cleaned out. So, what the heck, we attacked Earth.

4> A Mars Rover apparently ran over somebody’s really, really slow-moving pet.

3> They misinterpreted the cancellation of “Enterprise” as the dismantling of Earth’s space defenses.

2> Because 9-year-old Charles Thomas of Riverside, Californi

didn’t eat his peas last night. That’s right, Charles,

because of YOU.

and the Number 1 Reason Mars Decided to Attack Earth…

1> They were insulted that after years of sending diplomatic missions, we finally responded with two envoy robots, but neither was equipped with the proper ambassadorial anal probe.

.

Credits:

Selected from 40 submissions from 12 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Mark David, Redwood City, CA — 1, 8
Doug Crews, Oceanside, CA — 2
Chris Woodall, Dayton, KY — 3
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 4, 6
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 5, Topic
Laura Oberst, Columbus, OH — 7, 10
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 9
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator