The Top 10 Pet Peeves of Sex Droids

10> Those clowns from the Planet of the Apes always asking if you want to “eat their bananas.”

9> Lingerie prices are ridiculous at Factorya’s Secret.

8> That damn Capt. Kirk always bugging you to validate his frequent nookie discount card.

7> The platinum (blonde) droids get all the work.

6> “A positronic brain the size of a planet yet all the girls want to hear is my Barry White routine.”

5> “The time that smarta$$ ran a helium tube through my pneumatic system so my heavy breathing audio program sounded like an asthmatic duck. Real funny, pal!”

4> Guys *SAY* they want a girl who can suck a watermelon through a garden hose, but you should hear them squeal when you fire up the hypervac.

3> Klingons always head straight for the battle droids.

2> Constantly having to emulate the sexiest humans on Earth: Top Five Contributors.

and the Number 1 Pet Peeve of Sex Droids…

1> “You wouldn’t *BELIEVE* some of the places I have to clean whipped cream out of!”

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Credits:

Selected from 34 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Tom Rodman, Durham, NC — 1, 3
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 2, 6
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 4, 9
Tracy Lunquist, DeLand, FL — 5
Jim Carroll, Bedford, NH — 7
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 8, 10
Chris von Seggern, Cibolo, TX — Topic
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator

RUNNERS UP list — Droid Play

Getting disqualified from the Miss Universe pageant for being too intelligent.
(Mark David, Sunnyvale, CA)

“My mistress is having an affair with the washing machine.”
(Doug Crews, Oceanside, CA)

Annoying tendency of teenage boys to keel over dead after three or four days.
(Doug Crews, Oceanside, CA)

“I have 37 appendages for sexual stimulation, and what does she ask me to do? Send some stupid message to this ‘Obi-wan’ guy.”
(Doug Crews, Oceanside, CA)