The Top 9 Personal
Ads From the SF Worlds

9> Young British wizard seeks young witch for private lessons in localized levitation. Meeting to take place in the Potter’s shed.

8> Lonely computer with female engrams seeks wealthy, open minded, Howard Family members for conversation and cloning. Incest not a problem.

7> Single, depressed android with a brain the size of a planet seeks… oh, why bother?

6> Lonely… Starfleet captain… seeks single green Orion slave girl… for dancing and docking maneuvers.

5> HrrrrhrONK! grrrr, arwwarhwah-Hronk! Arwahrooooo, hrnt! (Divorced brown Wookiee seeks female Ewok Siamese twins. Must like pina coladas and own their own goat. Must be discreet.)

4> Sandworm seeks same for spicy hot time.

3> Single telepathic Venusian seeks same. (But you already knew that.)

2> Warrior of Arrakis seeks female warrior. Object: Dune what comes naturally.

and the Number 1 Personal Ad From the SF Worlds…

1> Large, steely, Earth-destroying kinda guy seeks robot with female appendages and sexual upgrade package to barada my nikto.

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Credits:

Selected from 16 submissions from 5 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 1, 4
Vilyehm Teighlore, Tucson, AZ — 2, 9
Chris White, Irvine, CA — 3
Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL — 5, 6, 8 (Hat trick!)
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 7
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — Jedi Knight