NOTE FROM LITTLE FIVERS

Someone spiked the Yoo-Hoo at the Little Fivers Leap Year
Partay. In the ensuing frenzy, inhibitions were thrown out
and the keys to our respective offices were thrown into
a fishbowl. When 9pm came around and our moms texted us
to get our butts home NOW, each moderator fished out a key.
One or two drew out a fish instead, but the rest of us reported
to the Fiver office we drew and published that list this week.

Let’s see how we did, shall we?

This week’s Top5 SciFi list was brought
to you through 5 miles of deep snow –
uphill — by Top5 Parenting moderator Dan
Weckerly and his contribs, who say this
list hurts them more than it hurts you.

The Top 9 Parental
Uses for a Time Machine

9> You can now change your mind about allowing your son to gerbil-sit the class science experiment.

8> Capture all the precious moments that occurred when you didn’t have a camera.

7> Save on tuitions: Flash forward to their post-graduate years.

6> No more worrying about waiting up until your daughter comes home from her date.

5> It’s easy to duck all those familial therapy sessions — your screw ups with the kids now have an “undo.”

4> End that sleep deprivation! Put naptime on a repeating loop to turn 15 minutes of rest into a full eight hours.

3> Now possible to erase all evidence of putting dirty diapers under the ex’s bed.

2> Skip back in time, fix the hole in the condom, avoid the parenthood thing altogether.

and the Number 1 Parental Use for a Time Machine…

1> Zap! Potty training’s done!

.

Credits:

Selected from 11 submissions from 5 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Jim Phynn, Horsham, PA — 1, 6
John Treusch, Burlington, NJ — 2, 7
Victor Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 2, 3, 4, 8 (Quads!)
Gideon Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa — 2
Audra Whitton, Annandale, VA — 4, 5
DeAnne French, Riverside, OH — 9
Dr. Who, Somewhere in his Tardis — Topic
Dan Weckerly, Limerick, PA — List Dad