NOTE FROM DAVE:

Ford Prefect, famed hero of the Hitchhiker’s
Guide to the Galaxy series has been everywhere
and done everything. Certainly there are
things he didn’t tell Arthur Dent…

The Top 10 Other
Travel Tips from Ford Prefect

10> Those triple-breasted whores? Not worth the side trip when Earth girls are so easy.

9> Improbability drives will eventually deposit everyone in Cleveland.

8> Carrying 50 cents to make a phone call is no longer sufficient. Now you must also carry your own payphone.

7> At the Restaurant, whatever you do, don’t order the tuna.

6> While transiting through an active star, SPF 50 is not going to cut it.

5> Rigellian cockroach poetry is renowned both for its creative meter and its moving subject material, but no one lets that stop them from stomping the little buggers.

4> Don’t eat anything associated with golden arches.

3> Never hitch a lift from anyone who ever served on the USS Voyager.

2> Not only are blueberry muffins nutritious, they can double as fuel for most Aralusian hyperdrive reactors.

and the Number 1 Other Travel Tip from Ford Prefect …

1> When faced with a decision between left and right, always choose right. At the very least you can always say you made the right decision.

.

Credits:

Selected from 21 submissions from 6 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Peter Heltzer, Buffalo Grove, IL — 1, 6, 8 (Hat trick!)
Dan Thompson, Austin, TX — 2, 5
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 3, 9
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 4, 10, Topic
Guy Reeves, Houston, TX — 7
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator