The Top 10 Odd Time Travel Missions

10> Head back with a genetic surgical team so that the Olsen sisters come out as Siamese twins.

9> Return to 1982 to bludgeon L. Ron Hubbard to death, thereby preventing the publication of “Battlefield Earth”.

8> Go to the Sixties and introduce a still-single Yoko Ono to a still-open-minded frat boy George W. Bush.

7> Strategically place golf club in Hilton’s gonads on the day of Paris’ conception.

6> Plant child-sized bloody glove at scene of Simpson/Goldman murder — mission accomplished.

5> Overexpose film in Paris Hilton’s video camera.

4> Cut the brake lines in Edward Kennedy’s Oldsmobile.

3> Deliver a copy of “Unique Baby Names For Boys” to George Foreman.

2> Find the people who invented the Speedo-style male swim suit. Kill them.

and the Number 1 Odd Time Travel Mission…

1> Travel back to convince the inventor of the spork to instead name it a foon.

.

Credits:

Selected from 38 submissions from 12 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 1, 3, 10 (Hat trick!)
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 2
Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC — 4
Lisa Comeau, Toronto, ON — 5, 6, 7 (Hat trick!)
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 8
Chris von Seggern, Cibolo, TX — 9
Dan Thompson, Austin, TX — Topic
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator