NOTE FROM JOHN:

Lots of Star Trek fans are up in arms over the theme song
to the new series “Enterprise”, which sounds nothing like
the songs we’ve all known, loved and parodied in the past.
Some fans are apparently even picketing the studio in protest.
Here at Top5 SciFi HQ in L-5 orbit, we decided to break
out our music collection and come up with some new songs
that Paramount could use to appease the angry fans:

The Top 9 New Theme
Songs for “Enterprise”

9> “Tie a Dishonorable Romulan Scum’s Internal Organs (’Round the Old Oak Tree)”

8> “Light My Matter/Antimatter Energy Matrix”

7> “P’uff the Magic Klingon”

6> “She Came In Through the Transporter Room Pattern Buffer”

5> “(I Can’t Get No) Replication”

4> “Cpt. Archer’s Only Warp Core Band”

3> “I Shot the Suliban (But I Did Not Shoot the Denebian)”

2> “You Are the Tetrion Radiation of My Life”

and the Number 1 New Theme Song for “Enterprise”…

1> “I Need a Green Alien Lover with Headridges Who Won’t Drive Me Crazy (or Accidentally Impregnate Me)”

.

Credits:

Selected from 46 submissions from 11 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Jennifer A. Ford, Fort Wayne, IN — 1 (First #1! Woohoo!)
Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — 2, 3, 5 (Hat trick!)
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 4, 6
David Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA — 7
Charles d’Olive, Waterloo, IA — 8, HM List Name
Steve Thomas, Atlanta, GA — 9
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — RU List Name
John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI — Prime Director