The Top 10 Lines From the
Galactic Union 1040 Tax Form

10> Internal parasites are NOT dependents until they completely take over the host. In that event, the parasite should file the return, claiming you as a dependent.

9> Pod people, please use Appendix G to calculate the deduction for care and maintenance of your pod.

8> Schedule C, Business Expenses, Line 15 Teleportation Insect/Human Misalignment Insurance

7> 49b: Reanimation re-education credits (Enter TID# of Cryogenic Reanimation facility: _ _ _ ):

6> Do you want 1000 credits to go to Zaphod Beeblebrox? Checking (or even not checking) this box will possibly change your tax based upon infinite improbability.

5> Losses due to interplanetary conflict and/or occupation.

4> All tax on earnings from going back in time and starting an interest earning account must be paid in the year you departed into the past, even if you returned at a point in the future.

3> Multiply line 23 by the number of dependent parasitic beings that spent at least half the galactic year growing in your stomach.

2> 13b: Environmental Tax Credit: Enter $1200 for each EnergyStar Reactor on personal ground-effect vehicles:

and the Number 1 Line From the Galactic Union 1040 Tax Form …

1> Are you claiming time travel expenses? You must file and pay penalties for each year skipped. See form 6.02214 × 10^23.

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Credits:

Selected from 24 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC — 1, 5
Nathan C. Sherman, Bellevue, WA — 2, 7
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 3, 4, 6 (Hat trick!)
Jim Carroll, Bedford, NH — 8
Guy Reeves, Houston, TX — 9, 10
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — Topic
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator