October 6th, 2006
NOTE FROM DAVE:
According to various reports, CBS
Paramount Television will offer an
enhanced version of “Star Trek: The
Original Series” with new state-of-
the-art CGI visual effects. Here
are some things to look for in
these enhanced DVDs.
Paramount Television will offer an
enhanced version of “Star Trek: The
Original Series” with new state-of-
the-art CGI visual effects. Here
are some things to look for in
these enhanced DVDs.
The Top 10 Improvements to “Star
Trek” With Today’s Special Effects
Trek” With Today’s Special Effects
10> Sadly, even adding these hyper-cool special effects to such an already brilliant concept still doesn’t impress the women like you thought it would when you show it to them in your mom’s basement.
9> Too racy at the time, scandalous Tribble mating scenes now included! In close-up and slo-mo!!
8> Lieutenant Uhura, Yeoman Rand and Nurse Chapel now all sport spectacular DD cups!
7> Spock’s ears now extra pointy!
6> “Reversing polarity” now looks like it actually would save the ship.
5> Digitally edited out all the little “pup tents” Sulu would get whenever one of those beefy Starfleet security fellows strolled by.
4> Re-shoot the fight sequence from “Amok Time” with fighting moves from “The Matrix.”
3> We can finally use the Orion slave girls as an indication of how chilly it was on the set that day.
2> Photon torpedoes now 53% more phallic!
and the Number 1 Improvement to “Star Trek” With Today’s Special Effects…
1> Due to looser television standards, the Vulcan neck pinch is replaced with the originally planned Vulcan nut squeeze.
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Credits:
Selected from 44 submissions from 13 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Douglas Bishop, Fort Wayne, IN — 1, 3
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 2, 5, Topic
Tom Rodman, Durham, NC — 4
Dan Thompson, Austin, TX — 6
Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC — 7
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — 8, 9
G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa — 10
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator