The Top 10 Headlines
in the Alien Tabloids

10> Earth Females: Only Two Breasts!

9> Galactic Senator Hill-ree Klynt’n Having Lesbian Affair With Earth Woman

8> Our Elvis Clone Weds J.Lo

7> To Serve Man: Now Specially-priced at Only $9.95 ***updated edition***

6> Earth Warns Alpha Centauri Warlord Z’onxx to Come Clean on WMDs

5> “Earth People Keep Sticking My Greeting Sticks Up Their Anuses!” Claims Orion Missionary

4> Master Plan Succeeding: G. W. Bush Still in White House!

3> Kirstie Alley Now Has Her Own Gravitational Field, Say Experts

2> Jabba the Hutt Loses Four Tons on Earth’s Atkins Diet

and the Number 1 Headline in the Alien Tabloids…

1> The Mysteries of Death Worship on Terra: Why Do They Fly Their Dead Former Leaders Back and Forth Across a Continent Before Burial?

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Credits:

Selected from 30 submissions from 10 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Genevre Wolf, Lakewood, Ohio — 1
Brad Wilkerson, El Sobrante, CA — 2, 6, 9 (Hat trick!)
Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL — 3
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — 4, 7, 10 (Hat trick!)
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 5
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 8
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — Jedi Knight