The Top 10 Contract Demands of
the Imperial Stormtroopers’ Union

10> Uniforms in Harvest Gold, Avocado, Hunter and Taupe, in addition to that boring Refrigerator White.

9> Bigger codpieces, because let’s face it, sometimes the uniform alone isn’t enough to impress the women.

8> Lord Vader MUST get a breath mint or something. That mask doesn’t filter out everything, you know.

7> Ghostly holograms of senior officials no longer allowed to spring on you in the men’s room.

6> What say we dump the bulky body armor that doesn’t seem to protect us from anything anyway?

5> Every eight seconds of Force-controlled choking must be followed by two seconds of rest time.

4> If you’re going to keep serving us eggs and beans, how about an exhaust port in these suits? We had 12 troopers asphyxiate just last week!

3> Gungan hunting licenses. Coincidentally, this was also the most common request of Rebel union members.

2> Hazardous duty pay extends to any work involving Ewoks. Fuzzy little bastards.

and the Number 1 Contract Demand of the Imperial Stormtrooper’s
Union…

1> Two words: Casual Fridays

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Credits:

Selected from 47 submissions from 13 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — 1, RU & HM List Names
(1st #1! Woohoo!)
Joseph Moore, Concord, CA — 2
Blake Taylor, Ogden, UT — 3, 9
Greg Preece, Toronto, ON — 4, 8, 10 (Hat trick!)
Toby Click, Macon, GA — 5
Doug Finney, Houston, TX — 6
Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI — 7, 8, 10 (Hat trick!)
Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL — 10
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 10
John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI — Prime Director