June 8, 2007     

NOTE FROM DAVE:

According to industry news, NBC will be
featuring a remake of “The Bionic Woman” in
their Fall prime time schedule. The word is
that they started with the title, and went
in a completely different direction than the
series from the 70’s. All things considered,
that’s probably not a bad thing.

The Top 10 Changes
in “The Bionic Woman”

10> Close-ups of the bionic T&A. Transistors and actuators, you
perv!

9> New hybrid technology allows her bionic legs to get 45 mpg
city/65 mpg highway.

8> USB connector in the middle finger of the right hand with 400
gigabyte download capability.

7> Now she’s on after midnight and comes with a vibrate mode and
a mute button.

6> Now that she’s going through “the change”, her bionic hot
flashes incinerate everything within a 10-foot radius.

5> While her WiFi-enabled computer implant makes her seem smarter
than Samantha Carter, she’s developed an annoying twitch from
all the pop-up ads.

4> An explanation of how she can throw a car using bionic limbs
without crushing her non-bionic spine? No? Okay.

3> Now able to perform amazing feats without that obnoxious
sound effect.

2> She’s now sharing an apartment with Number Six, Boomer and
Seven of Nine, and the show’s been retitled “Sex and the
Circuits”.

and the Number 1 Change in “The Bionic Woman” …

1> Fearing that the dramatic improvement in her tennis game will
expose her unfair advantage, Jaime quits the sport and becomes
a Tour de France cyclist.

.

Credits:

Selected from 46 submissions from 13 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 1
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 2
Tracy Lunquist, DeLand, FL — 3
Doug Crews, Oceanside, CA — 4, 10
Dan Thompson, Austin, TX — 5
Mark David, Sunnyvale, CA — 6
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 7
Tom Rodman, Durham, NC — 8
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 9
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator