The Top 6 Bad Fan Fiction Lines

6> “Heh-heh,” Willow giggled. Buffy responded, “Heh-heh,” too. This continued for a while until they had sex.

5> “Blast my blasted luck!” bellowed Han. “If I only had my blaster I could blast these blasted vermin to oblivion!”

4> She sidled up to the short green alien holding the impressive metal apparatus and huskily whispered: “Probe me, baby! Probe me like I’ve never been probed before!”

3> “Ender, what is this obsession you have with stamping on bugs?” Mrs. Wiggin asked her three-year-old for the umpteenth time.

2> Harry Dresden knew that white wizards weren’t supposed to strike with malicious intent. But the next little punk who asked him what house the damn sorting hat had put him in was going to get a magical enema the likes of which they’d never forget.

and the Number 1 Bad Fan Fiction Line…

1> Rose, Donna, Nyssa, Tegan, Sarah Jane, Romana, everyone, we’re here because we’re tired of the Doctor’s patriarchal nonsense. This is about empowerment, and you’ll notice we’ve begun by painting the TARDIS pink.

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Credits:

Selected from 14 submissions from 5 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 1, 6
Aaron Giddings, Kirkland, WA — 2
Andrea Kelly, Brookville MD — 3
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 4, 5
Chris von Seggern, Cibolo, TX — Topic
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator