NOTE FROM DAVE:

Sometimes you’re just too busy to
answer that communicator or link call.

The Top 10 Answering Machine
Messages From Our Favorite SF Characters

10> Leave a message, you damn dirty ape!

9> Hi, you’ve reached Tru Davies. Chances are, I’ve already heard your message.

8> Goodness gracious me! I, C-3PO, am presently away from this location. But please leave me a message in one of the six million forms of communication in which I am fluent, and I will gladly contact you presently.

7> Hi, it’s Lazarus Long! If you’re one of my ex-wives, press one. If you’re one of my current wives, press two. If you’ve never been married to me, but want to have sex, press three. If you work for the government, and I need to kill you, wait for

tone.

6> This is engineering… I dinna think the phone kin take any more messages… ye kin try but I’ canna guarantee she won’t blow up in yer ear!

5> If you are a new customer enquiring about our range of Light Sabers, please press one. If you already have a contract and would like to upgrade to a double blade, please press two. For service or to have your blade color changed, please press three. To speak to a sales representative, please press four.

4> Ford Prefect is busy folding his towel, Zaphod and Trillian are in conference with the mice while the other human, Arthur Dent, is trying to answer your call using the food dispenser so I suppose that I’m the only intelligent life form available but, being an android with a brain the size of a planet, I’m finding this whole experience of performing the demeaning duties of a communications recorder rather depressing so would you please just go away without leaving a message.

3> Hello! You’ve reached the Baggins residence. Uncle Bilbo and I aren’t available right now, but if you’d leave a message – and Middle Earth isn’t destroyed by the might of the Dark Lord – we’ll get right back to you.

2> Hi, this is Buffy, and… uhm– Hey! Nothing I say on this message can be construed as an invitation to come in my house, okay? So… as long as we’re clear on that… leave a message.

and the Number 1 Answering Machine Message From Our Favorite SF
Character…

1> I, Michael Smith, a stranger in a strange land, live no more. I may be in Earth’s heaven, or I may be with the Martians. You’ve reached me between a grok and a harp place.

.

Credits:

Selected from 22 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Vilyehm Teighlore, Tucson, AZ — 1
Jennifer A. Ford, Fort Wayne, IN — 2, 3, 9 (Hat Trick!!!)
Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia — 4, 5
Brad Wilkerson, El Sobrante, CA — 6
RW Lipp, Lenexa, KS — 7
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 8
Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 10
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — Jedi Knight