NOTE FROM DAVE:

The Sci-Fi channel is holding tryouts
for another new show. Essentially they’re
looking for the next Marvel Comics superhero.
The winner of this competition will be
immortalized in a new comic book.
And look — Top5 Comics is back!

The Top 7 Rejected
“Superhero” Tryouts

7> Team Enron: Pretends to fly a plane, crashes it within seconds.

6> Dog Whisperer: Can’t speak to dogs, but can bark very, very softly.

5> “Control of the ‘football’ doesn’t really cut it, Mr. President. No, no, please don’t demonstrate!”

4> Stupor Boy: It took you a while to categorize yourself, but finally you can tell them: You’re faster than a speeding tortoise, stronger than a Lionel locomotive and are able to leap wheelchair-accessible curbs at a single bound!

3> Bonbon Girl: Powered by chocolate. Wears tight, bright Spandex. Guards couch of anyone with TV by holding it bodily in place. Plasma-screen owners exempt from chocolate fee.

2> Anteater Man: Has long tongue, likes to use it. Secretly prefers termites.

and the Number 1 Rejected “Superhero” Tryout…

1> Good Housekeeping Man: Flies everywhere on his trusty vacuum, looking for messes to tidy. Beloved rectifier of daycare centers, gas station bathrooms, basement bedrooms and locker rooms everywhere.

.

Credits:

Selected from 26 submissions from 8 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — 1, 2, 3 (Hat trick!)
Guy Payne, Birmingham, AL — 4, 5
Ryan Garcia, Austin, TX — 6, 7
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator