February 5, 2010
of me moderating this list. It continues to be something
I enjoy doing every week, and I want to take this
opportunity to thank all my contributors past and present
for their help. Believe me, the list would be much less
funny without them. Also, thanks to all of you who read
each week. Without all of you, we’d only be amusing ourselves.
We’re glad we have to chance to amuse you too.
We’d Like to See in Sci-Fi
9> “We’ve secretly replaced all of the melange with Folgers
crystals. Let’s see what happens now.”
8> “Thank you for traveling with Corrillian Spacelines aboard the
Millennium Falcon. I see our co-pilot Chewbacca has turned off
the No Light Saber sign. Please, keep your holographic games
off while we make the calculations for hyperspace.”
7> Kramer came bursting through the airlock door, surprising
those already on the surface of the planet. His last words
were, “Jerry! Can I borrow a spacesuit?”
6> The coyote had lost the roadrunner again. Spinning his legs
uselessly in mid-air he realized it was going to be a long,
slow fall down the side of Olympus Mons.
5> Gollum goes through 256 boxes of Cracker Jacks looking for
another ring.
4> R2-D2: [BEEP] [WHISTLE] [WHIRR] [BEEP].
C3-PO: Man, you’ve got the filthiest mouth of any droid I know.
3> Neo turns to face Smith in the battle for all humanity and
utters the immortal words; “Pull my finger.”
2> Paul Atreides and Chani with little plastic buckets and
shovels, building sand castles on Arrakis.
day in my Galaxy.”
Selected from 34 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Tom Rodman, Durham, NC — 1, 2
Will Southworth, San Antonio, TX — 3, 8
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 4
Donald Johnson, Cincinnati, OH — 5
Guy Reeves, Houston, TX — 6, 7
Chuck Burke, Phoenix, AZ — 9
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator
fall down.
(Doug Crews, Oceanside, CA)
Darth Vader storms in front of the battalion of stormtroopers. In
a deep commanding voice he says, “All right, which one of you
short-sheeted my bed?”
(Will Southworth, San Antonio, TX)
Dave Bowman: Open the pod-bay doors, Hal.
HAL: What’s the secret word, Dave?
Dave Bowman: Please, Hal.
HAL: Try again.
Dave Bowman: Pretty please, Hal.
HAL: I can’t hear you…
(Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL)
Medical droid retrieves one of Darth Vader’s severed legs, and
it’s wearing a fishnet stocking.
(Doug Crews, Oceanside, CA)
“This is your commander, Kang. Tonight we will feast on the corpses
of our Federation enemies… and a nice Chianti with some subtle
bouquet followed by some canapes and a almond sorbet.”
(Will Southworth, San Antonio, TX)