August 27, 2010     

The Top 7 Ways Aliens Will
Look When We Finally Meet Them

7> They’ll have a device hanging from one side of their head with
a blinky blue light.

6> They’ll have strange costumes, weird hair and make funny
noises. No, wait. That’s Lady Gaga.

5> Hand-shaped sexual organs will make for an awkward first
greeting.

4> Aliens will look like Sarah Palin sounds.

3> Whatever the proper, healthy amount of breasts a species
should have, aliens will have one extra.

2> After three generations in a cramped spaceship and limited
water rations, I’m more concerned with how they’ll smell.

and the Number 1 Way Aliens Will Look When We Finally Meet Them…

1> Who needs a mate, with that extra, extra, l-o-n-g tongue
Venusians have? That’s all I’m saying.

.

Credits:

Selected from 24 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — 1
Dan Thompson, Austin, TX — 2, 5
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 3, 4
Tom Rodman, Durham, NC — 6
Bruce Kane, Charlotte, NC — 7
Will Southworth, San Antonio, TX — Topic
Dave Oberhart, Durham, NC — SF List Moderator