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July 5, 2001      Share

The Top 9 Worst Wedding Gifts

9> His and hers dueling pistols

8> A “Thank You for taking her out of circulation” card from
the VD clinic with a “first visit free” coupon

7> Hiring the strip joint for the stag night: $500
Court Ordered Bail from the stag night: $1500
Seeing her open the credit card statement thinking it was a
telegram: 50% of everything you’ve got

6> His and hers flannel footie pajamas

5> All expense paid honeymoon vacation — to Fresno!

4> Good: A copy of the video you made of your wedding.
Bad: A copy of the video you watched at your bachelor party.
Worse: A copy of the video you made at your bachelor party.

3> An evil, possessed toaster that constantly mocks you in the
kitchen, yelling profanities and making your microwave jealous

2> Gift certificate for his and hers branding at the House of Pain

and the Number 1 Worst Wedding Gift…
1> Anything that includes hot pink faux fur, live goldfish, and
at least three warning labels



Selected from 50 submissions from 20 contributors.
Today Top5 List authors are:

Holly “Wolf” Black, Bellevue, WA — 1 (2nd #1)
Julie Nusbaum, Hamilton, IN — 2, 8
Michelle Stansbury, parts unknown — 3
Curt Alford, Beaumont, TX — 4
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 5, 8, 9, Topic (Hat Trick!)
Sam Kamens, Highland Park, NJ — 6
Andrew Irwin, Christchurch, NZ — 7
Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA — 8
Joe Terranova, Lake Orion, MI — RU List Name
Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA — Ring Bearer, RU list name