April 14, 2004      Share

NOTE FROM STEVE:
Although we’re sure *YOUR* spouse would never be
bored with sex, we’d like to pass along a few
things to watch for… you know, if “a friend”
needed advice.

The Top 10 Ways to Tell
Your Spouse Is Bored With Sex

10> The guys at the gym inform you that someone made out a grocery
list on your back.

9> She keeps complaining that the kids will interrupt you, even
though they’re both over 30 and live more than 500 miles away.

8> You spend all day making a romantic dinner hoping for some
intimacy, and when she comes home and sees it, the ONLY thing
she says is, “Leftovers tomorrow?”

7> She stares at the ceiling? A little bored.
She watches TV? Bored.
She pops zits on your back? Extremely bored!

6> The only things HE thinks about doing in the shower anymore is
turning up the hot water so the farts smell worse.

5> She says she needs something to help her sleep. Then she puts
away the Sominex, hands you a condom, and says “Go to it!”

4> Not only does she decline sex with me, she actually looks
forward to bland domestic chores like greeting the milkman and
the mailman.

3> Not only is he watching the game during sex, he’s also online
managing his fantasy team.

2> Insists on keeping the chat window open and the keyboard
really close, “just in case.”

and the Number 1 Way to Tell Your Spouse Is Bored With Sex…
1> Instead of making the minimal effort to fake an orgasm, she
plays a tape recording of a fake orgasm.


.

Credits:

Selected from 33 submissions from 8 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 1, 4, 7 (21st #1! Hat trick!)
Gina Ingram, Miami, FL — 2
Joe Terranova, Lake Orion, MI — 3, 9, 10 (Hat trick!)
Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 5
Gary Reynolds, West Lafayette, IN — 6, 8
John Newsome, Eastman, GA — Topic
Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA — Snorer, Runners Up List Title

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