August 29, 2001     

NOTE FROM STEVE:

Steve Hurd here, Top5 Relationships’ “Mid-wife”
You survive a dating, engagement and the various pains
of a wedding. Yet the *real* test, the most difficult
and insidious of all challenges is yet to come…

The Top 9 Responses to “Why
don’t you two have children yet?”

9> “Give up our freewheeling lifestyle of nonstop sex, weekends
in the Hamptons and furniture that doesn’t look as if an
elephant had taken a dump on it?”

8> “Mother, give it a rest! For the last time, Brides of
Christ don’t GET pregnant!”

7> “1. We’re not married.
2. We’re not ready.
3. We’re both men!”

6> “We tried, but the alien-to-human gene splicing technology
just doesn’t work well… and poor Urfflemmphblahggg is
just heart-broken over this.”

5> “What? Oh, you must think Gary’s a girl! I guess the
makeup does make it pretty hard to tell, huh?”

4> “We thought that might be a bad idea, you know, with my
husband being a pedophile and all.”

3> “David Crosby has only got so much to go around you know.”

2> “We’ve had three so far — they were delicious.”

and the Number 1 Response to “Why don’t you two have children
yet?”…

1> “Why yes, it *is* lovely weather we’re having.”

.

Credits:

Selected from 41 submissions from 15 contributors.
Today Top5 List authors are:

Joe Terranova, Lake Orion, MI — 1, 4 (Woo-hoo! 1st #1)
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL — 2
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 2
Andrew Irwin, Christchurch, NZ — 3
Holly “Wolf” Black, Bellevue, WA — 5
Julie Feinstein, Oakland, CA — 6
Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL — 7, 8
Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 9
Lisa Dallas, Sacramento, CA — Topic
Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA — Lamaze Coach, RU List Title