July 18, 2001     

NOTE FROM STEVE:

Steve Hurd here, Top5 Relationships’ “Gerbils’ Psychic Friend”

The Top 9 Reasons
Significant Others are Better Than Pets

9> When he brings home a gift for you, rarely is it rotting
or bloody.

8> If you catch them humping a stranger’s leg, you’re not the
one who has to apologize.

7> Sure Spot and Herman are both old and drool all over couch,
but Herman DOES have a million dollar life insurance policy!

6> My girlfriend understands the importance of using Schedule A
to list tax deferred business annuities, whereas my cat always
tries to lump them on Form 1043C with other non-standard
disbursements.

5> What would be so special about “doggy” style, when it would
just be “regular” style?

4> Darn difficult to find sleazy “Frederick’s Of Hollywood”
lingerie to fit a hamster.

3> Chain up your dog: cruel
Chain up your girlfriend: kinky!

2> One word: Breasts

and the Number 1 Reason Significant Others are Better Than
Pets…

1> I’m a regular contributor to an internet humor list…
my significant other *is* my pet.

.

Credits:

Selected from 50 submissions from 20 contributors.
Today Top5 List authors are:

Andrew Irwin, Christchurch, NZ — 1 (2nd #1)
Dennis Koho, Keizer, OR — 2
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 3, 6
Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 4
Hajee van’t Steen, The Hague, The Netherlands — 5
Victoria Capps, Pensacola, FL — 7
Holly “Wolf” Black, Bellevue, WA — 8
Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA — 9
Sandra Hull, Top5 Pets — Topic
Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA — Master, RU list name