“Greg (don’t call me Gaylord) Focker.”
They said we’d never make it to our 4th list.
They were wrong.
And who the hell were “they” anyway?
NOT Visiting Your In-Laws
8> All the furniture is covered in plastic, but you leave one
little piece of latex around the house and they *never* let
you forgot about it.
7> Ever since Grandpa got drunk and told stories of his lonely
teenage years on the farm, your children wake up screaming
from nightmares about goats.
6> “I’d love to go, but your parents suck the very life from
the core of my being, leaving me an empty shell of a man
and destroying all of my hopes for the future. That, and
UCLA plays Duke tonight”
5> You enjoy the fava beans and Chianti, but have never acquired
a taste for the “wild game” your father-in-law serves.
4> Your search for the *real* killers hasn’t won them over.
3> “But sweetheart, I had my heart set on going curtain shopping
2> “Sean, every time we visit, Yoko insists on singing a new song.”
your leg. It’s an uncomfortable few minutes while your wife
pries her father from you.
Selected from 76 submissions from 29 contributors.
Today Top5 List authors are:
Brett McDaniel, Atlanta, GA — 1 (Woo-hoo! 1st #1)
Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL — 2
Zak Tyler, Charleston, WV — 3
Chris Hansen, Parts Unknown — 4
Esteban Schwartz, Walnut Creek, CA — 5, Topic
Kenneth R. Feucht, Oakdale, MN — 6
Amanda Butler, Provo, UT — 7
Julie Nusbaum, Hamilton, IN — 8
Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA — Patriarch
Randy Newman, Los Angeles, CA — Ambience
“SuzanPeachFuzz”, Fort Morgan, CO — RU List Title