July 9th, 2008
NOTE FROM TRISH:
Last week we explored the advantages of dating
identical twins. This week’s challenge for our
contributors was to try to figure out why it’s
a really bad idea. They’ve come through. Twice.
identical twins. This week’s challenge for our
contributors was to try to figure out why it’s
a really bad idea. They’ve come through. Twice.
The Top 9 Distressing Things
About Dating Identical Twins
About Dating Identical Twins
9> Do the math: twice the female BS to tolerate in exchange for sex with two women who look the same. Your life just got 200% less nice.
8> Fantasizing about your *other* girlfriend isn’t nearly as satisfying.
7> Can’t ever remember who doesn’t like the extra finger.
6> Now TWO women are telling their friends what a bad lover you are.
5> “Of course I know its you. You have that cute little scar right th… uh-oh.”
4> Thanks to the DNA, you get one pregnant and both could sue you for child support.
3> “No sweetheart, those pants don’t make you look fat, but they’d sure look awful on your sister.”
2> You finally talk them into a threesome, and then you can’t get that damn Wrigley’s Doublemint jingle out of your head!
and the Number 1 Distressing Thing About Dating Identical Twins…
1> You’ve paid over 20 grand for her plastic surgery, but on every family reunion you are reminded of what she really looks like.
.
Credits:
Selected from 32 submissions from 10 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa — 1, 6, 8 (Hat trick! Yippee! 1st #1)
Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA — 2
Ross Bennett, Reedsville, PA — 3
Gary Reynolds, West Lafayette, IN — 4, 7, 9 (Hat trick!)
Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY — 5
Mike Johnson, Cody, WY — 6, 9
James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 9
Trish Jensen, Reedsville, PA — Advice Columnist
RUNNERS UP list — What happened to your tattoo?
After repeatedly bedding both, you’re beginning to think they’re
just using you for sex!
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
Birthdays always end up being an expensive ordeal.
(Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY)
Calling out the wrong name may be a bad time to announce the other relationship.
(Gary Reynolds, West Lafayette, IN)
Not much difference actually, since all sheep look pretty much the same anyway. (Montana only.)
(James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)
When you admit you slept with her sister, she replies “You only *think* you did.”
(Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)
You always seem to pick the prudish, bitchy one.
(Steven Lunetta, Tuscon, AZ)
You find out too late that before the numerous surgeries, “she” was a fraternal twin.
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
(Steven Lunetta, Tuscon, AZ)
You’re never quite sure you’ve kicked the right one out of your bed.
(Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
Birthdays always end up being an expensive ordeal.
(Judith Cottrill, Bronx, NY)
Calling out the wrong name may be a bad time to announce the other relationship.
(Gary Reynolds, West Lafayette, IN)
Not much difference actually, since all sheep look pretty much the same anyway. (Montana only.)
(James Knowles, Bellingham, WA)
When you admit you slept with her sister, she replies “You only *think* you did.”
(Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)
You always seem to pick the prudish, bitchy one.
(Steven Lunetta, Tuscon, AZ)
You find out too late that before the numerous surgeries, “she” was a fraternal twin.
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
(Steven Lunetta, Tuscon, AZ)
You’re never quite sure you’ve kicked the right one out of your bed.
(Vic Vitek, Hopewell Junction, NY)
