July 25, 2001      Share

NOTE FROM STEVE:
Steve Hurd here, Top5 Relationships’ “Power Yenta”
As a public service, our contributors have come up
with a series of helpful answers to one of life’s
more difficult questions. Use them as you see fit.

The Top 9 Answers to
“Why aren’t you married yet?”

9> “I don’t get out much. The little bracelet on my ankle
makes loud noises if I try.”

8> “I’m waiting for my Webvan.com stock to skyrocket so we can
have a really lavish reception.”

7> “Who needs a wife? I’ve got goats!”

6> “I’m sorry, but if marriage can’t last for Luke and Laura, what
hope do the rest of us really have at long-term happiness?”

5> “Well with the coefficient of the general populous compared
to the co-sine of the lower median of the social-economic
scale of the differential of the sexual dynamic within the
establishment leads me to conclude that the fiduciary nature
of the cohabital experience in a political spectrum…
hey, come back here — I hadn’t finished speaking!”

4> “Well, I reckon it might may something to do with the fact
that none of my cousins live anywhere in West Virginia.”

3> “I don’t know… I guess some women just feel threatened
by the Lara Croft blow-up doll.”

2> “Why aren’t you dead yet?”

and the Number 1 Answer to “Why aren’t you married yet?”…
1> “Finally realized that ‘Mr. Right’ does not exist.
Can’t find ‘Mr. Pretty Good.’
Disillusioned with ‘Mr. Commonly Available.’
Not yet desperate enough to try ‘Mr. Top5 Moderator.’”


.

Credits:

Selected from 55 submissions from 19 contributors.
Today Top5 List authors are:

James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 1, Topic (3rd #1)
Brent McDaniel, Atlanta, GA — 2, 7
Joe Terranova, Lake Orion, MI — 2, RU List Title
Nancy Vaine, Fairfield, CT — 2
Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA — 3
Michelle Stansbury, Parts Unknown — 4
Andrew Irwin, Christchurch, NZ — 5
Julie Nusbaum, Hamilton, IN — 6
Patrick O’Driscoll, St Louis, MO — 7
Amanda Butler, Provo, UT — 7
Maura Scholl, Mt. Prospect, IL — 8
Alan Phillips, Wenatchee, WA — 9
Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA — Usher

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