July 25, 2001      Share

Steve Hurd here, Top5 Relationships’ “Power Yenta”
As a public service, our contributors have come up
with a series of helpful answers to one of life’s
more difficult questions. Use them as you see fit.

The Top 9 Answers to
“Why aren’t you married yet?”

9> “I don’t get out much. The little bracelet on my ankle
makes loud noises if I try.”

8> “I’m waiting for my Webvan.com stock to skyrocket so we can
have a really lavish reception.”

7> “Who needs a wife? I’ve got goats!”

6> “I’m sorry, but if marriage can’t last for Luke and Laura, what
hope do the rest of us really have at long-term happiness?”

5> “Well with the coefficient of the general populous compared
to the co-sine of the lower median of the social-economic
scale of the differential of the sexual dynamic within the
establishment leads me to conclude that the fiduciary nature
of the cohabital experience in a political spectrum…
hey, come back here — I hadn’t finished speaking!”

4> “Well, I reckon it might may something to do with the fact
that none of my cousins live anywhere in West Virginia.”

3> “I don’t know… I guess some women just feel threatened
by the Lara Croft blow-up doll.”

2> “Why aren’t you dead yet?”

and the Number 1 Answer to “Why aren’t you married yet?”…
1> “Finally realized that ‘Mr. Right’ does not exist.
Can’t find ‘Mr. Pretty Good.’
Disillusioned with ‘Mr. Commonly Available.’
Not yet desperate enough to try ‘Mr. Top5 Moderator.’”



Selected from 55 submissions from 19 contributors.
Today Top5 List authors are:

James Knowles, Bellingham, WA — 1, Topic (3rd #1)
Brent McDaniel, Atlanta, GA — 2, 7
Joe Terranova, Lake Orion, MI — 2, RU List Title
Nancy Vaine, Fairfield, CT — 2
Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA — 3
Michelle Stansbury, Parts Unknown — 4
Andrew Irwin, Christchurch, NZ — 5
Julie Nusbaum, Hamilton, IN — 6
Patrick O’Driscoll, St Louis, MO — 7
Amanda Butler, Provo, UT — 7
Maura Scholl, Mt. Prospect, IL — 8
Alan Phillips, Wenatchee, WA — 9
Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA — Usher