November 7, 2001      Share

The Top 9
Advantages of Dating a Smoker

9> Dating the Lord of Evil could be handy for revenge against
your ex. (Oops! You mean someone who smokes *cigarettes*!)

8> If she refuses to do that nasty sex thing, just hide her
smokes, wait 3 hours and “negotiate.”

7> Your lifelong goal is to date a social pariah and child
molesters are just *so* hard to find these days.

6> It’s like marrying an old millionaire, except the cleaners
are better at removing the smoke odor from your drapes than
“old guy smell.”

5> Phone sex? Raspy!

4> Two packs a day for six more months and he’ll have enough
Camel Bucks to get the designer oxygen tent.

3> Cigarette burns give your sofa that valuable “retro” look.

2> She’s the ultimate in accessorizing: Her discolored fingers
perfectly match her yellow Versace suede pants.

and the Number 1 Advantage of Dating a Smoker…
1> Since your clothes & hair already reek of cigarette smoke, she
has no way of determining if you’re hitting the strip clubs.


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Credits:

Selected from 46 submissions from 16 contributors.
Today Top5 List authors are:

Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA — 1, 8 (Woo Hoo! 1st #1)
Victoria Capps, Pensacola, FL — 2
Brian Bell, Seattle, WA — 3, 4
Kate Melnyk, Attleboro, MA — 5
Patrick O’Driscoll, St Louis, MO — 6
Brent McDaniel, Atlanta, GA — 7
Andrew Irwin, Christchurch, NZ — 9
Steve Hurd, Melbourne Beach, FL — Tobacconist, Topic

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