July 1st, 2008
NOTE FROM THE SPEAKER:
Just as there are elements that exist
for mere nanoseconds, surely there must
be something to admire about our
national legislators. Like these!
for mere nanoseconds, surely there must
be something to admire about our
national legislators. Like these!
The Top 9 Things We
Like About Congress
Like About Congress
9> More counter space at Waffle House back home.
8> They’re big tippers. (Hookers only, not waitstaff.)
7> Without Congress, “filibuster” would just be a low-level rodeo job.
6> They regularly get our hopes up we can kick out our incumbents with that cute “election” thing.
5> Without Congress, “progress” would have no antonym.
4> Every two years, their attack ads push most feminine hygiene commercials off TV.
3> Without them, the third branch of government would consist of Starbucks franchises.
2> When your wife asks you to do a chore, you answer, “Sure, honey, when Congress passes a comprehensive immigration bill.’
and the Number 1 Thing We Like About Congress…
1> They can send letters without using stamps. How bad is dat?
.
Credits:
Selected from 30 submissions from 9 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Russell Beland, Springfield, VA — 1, 4
Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA — 2
Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL — 3
David Franks, Wichita, KS — 5, 7
John English, Provo, UT — 6
Mark Sweatt, Marietta, GA — 8, 9
Tobias Ziegler, Brooklyn, NY — Banner tag
The Speaker, Washington, DC — The Speaker
RUNNERS UP list — Not So Lovable
Excluding the sex part, makes my life seem a *whole* lot better.
(Mark Sweatt, Marietta, GA)
Great examples when you’re trying to explain what it means for someone to be a little bit too tall for their blood supply.
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
It’s a great opportunity for a young college student to learn about politics by becoming a page. No, wait…
(Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA)
Provides a useful diversion between Brian Lamb’s “Book Notes.”
(Russell Cannon, Anniston, AL)
They are the best people that money can buy.
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
When Congress goes on vacation, you go on vacation.
(Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA)
(Mark Sweatt, Marietta, GA)
Great examples when you’re trying to explain what it means for someone to be a little bit too tall for their blood supply.
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
It’s a great opportunity for a young college student to learn about politics by becoming a page. No, wait…
(Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA)
Provides a useful diversion between Brian Lamb’s “Book Notes.”
(Russell Cannon, Anniston, AL)
They are the best people that money can buy.
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
When Congress goes on vacation, you go on vacation.
(Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA)
