NOTE FROM MITCH:

Nancy Pelosi, uberliberal from San Francisco
(as in the city, not the set of cultural stereotypes),
is the Democrats’ first female House Minority Leader.

The Top 10 Things on
Nancy Pelosi’s To Do List

10> See if it’s too late to ask for another recount of the 2000 election.

9> Forehead almost moved when I smiled during last press conference: Schedule another botox injection and face lift before the next one.

8> Call Anne Robinson — borrow that simply divine black leather number.

7> Ditch the liberal pansies, hook up with Ted Nugent!

6> Regain control of the House by getting a couple of dozen liberal Republicans to switch parties.

5> Start selecting best Streisand songs to use in my documentary’s soundtrack.

4> Scrape off 1/4″ of makeup from face to be able to join in on trashing Katherine Harris’s makeup.

3> Learn even better ways to express disgust while keeping photogenic smile in place.

2> Smile like there’s no tomorrow. I mean, smile like there is a tomorrow.

and the Number 1 Things on Nancy Pelosi’s To Do List…

1> Send memo to fashion consultant: Be sure to accessorize every outfit with the flowers in my hair.

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Credits:

Selected from 25 submissions from 9 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Kathy Good, Scottsdale, AZ — 1 (3rd #1!)
Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA — 2, 4
Pamela Rice Hahn, Celina, OH — 3, 5, 9 (Hat trick!)
Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD — 6, 10
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 7
Adam Smith, Jamestown, ND — 8
Mitch Berg, St. Paul, MN — Admiral
Gear Daddies, Austin, MN — Ambience