July 15th, 2008
NOTE FROM THE SPEAKER:
Now that the fireworks and burgers have settled,
what are we really grateful to be free of?
what are we really grateful to be free of?
The Top 8 Things From Which
We’re Glad to be Independent
We’re Glad to be Independent
8> Carville/Matalin sex tapes.
7> That blasted Whig party.
6> Individual thought, now that we have three 24-hour cable news channels to tell us how to feel about stuff.
5> Oil from the Middle East. (Hey, wait a minute!)
4> Christopher Cross instrumentals on our radio waves.
3> That snotty, superior British attitude towards… Hey, look, Simon’s ripping somebody on American Idol!
2> Malevolent governments that do stuff like invading countries for no good reason, torturing enemies, and violating citizens’ rights “for their own safety.”
and the Number 1 Thing From Which We’re Glad to be Independent…
1> Our dependence on fossil politicians.
.
Credits:
Selected from 22 submissions from 7 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 1
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 2, 3
John English, Provo, UT — 4, 6, 7 (Triplebuster!)
Mark Weiss, Austin, TX — 5
Russell Cannon, Anniston, AL — 8
Joshua Lyman, Greenwich, CT — Banner tag
The Speaker, Washington, DC — The Speaker
RUNNERS UP list — Co-Dependents
Hereditary passage of power from father to son.
(Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL)
Madonna (any attempts to return her to these shores will be dealt with, severely!)
(Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL)
My sister’s first two husbands. Hallelujah!
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
The insidious clutches of mindless, jingoistic patriotic fervor. Good thing we never succumb to *that* on the 4th of July!
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
The silent e on the end of most nouns. Ye Olde Blacksmithe, begone!
(John English, Provo, UT)
(Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL)
Madonna (any attempts to return her to these shores will be dealt with, severely!)
(Bill Livingston, Decatur, AL)
My sister’s first two husbands. Hallelujah!
(Mark Weiss, Austin, TX)
The insidious clutches of mindless, jingoistic patriotic fervor. Good thing we never succumb to *that* on the 4th of July!
(Larry Hollister, Concord, CA)
The silent e on the end of most nouns. Ye Olde Blacksmithe, begone!
(John English, Provo, UT)
