The Top 9
Surprises at the Iowa Caucus

9> Richard Gephardt: “I want to be the candidate for guys with white flags on their pickups!”

8> Al Sharpton sweeps all black precincts — all none of them.

7> Donald Trump shows up, points at Dennis Kucinich and announces, “You’re fired!”

6> The candidate seen milking the most cows… doesn’t win!

5> Joe Lieberman promises $100 million to fight any possibility of “mad pig disease.”

4> Write-in candidate “Anyone But Dubya” wins 99% of the vote.

3> Howard Dean’s third place finish due to the fact that there’s no Internet in Iowa.

2> All the hot air generated by the many candidates prematurely pops the Iowa corn crop.

and the Number 1 Surprise at the Iowa Caucus…

1> Al Franken caught masturbating in the back row.

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Credits:

Selected from 54 submissions from 13 contributors.
Today’s Top 5 List authors are:

Brian Jones, Mannford, OK — 1, 9
Gene Spafford, West Lafayette, IN — 2
Bertha Hammarskjold, New York, NY — 3
Nancy Anton, Portland, ME — 4, 8
William Wickart, Hillsboro, Oregon — 5
David Frier, Rochester, NY — 6
John English, Provo, UT — 7
Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA — Stuck in the Middle
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