October 30th, 2007
NOTE FROM THE SPEAKER:
Blackwater USA, the private company
providing security for hundreds of
American civilians in Iraq, may lose its
government contracts over recent
incidents in which its personnel killed
Iraqi civilians. What could this firm of
ex-Special Forces troops do instead?
providing security for hundreds of
American civilians in Iraq, may lose its
government contracts over recent
incidents in which its personnel killed
Iraqi civilians. What could this firm of
ex-Special Forces troops do instead?
The Top 8 New Lines of
Business for Blackwater
Business for Blackwater
8> Yard care with extreme prejudice.
7> Paparazzi exterminators for the stars.
6> Blackwater Funeral Homes. Discount for burying your entire family!
5> Sell reduction in armored convoys as carbon offsets.
4> Provide the best-guarded crossing at Roosevelt Elementary.
3> Split into groups of four, buy a bunch of black vans with red stripes, and start A-Team franchises throughout the world.
2> Merge with Acme to produce the ultimate in “innovative roadrunner destruction alternatives.”
and the Number 1 New Line of Business for Blackwater…
1> “Delivering your pizza in 230 minutes at twice the cost or we’ll shoot your family.”
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Credits:
Selected from 18 submissions from 5 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL — 1, 6
Russell Beland, Springfield, VA — 2, 5
John English, Provo, UT — 3, 7
Mark Sweatt, Marietta, GA — 4
Neil Chandler, Basking Ridge, NJ — 4, 8
Josiah Bartlet, Washington, DC — Banner tag
The Speaker, Washington, DC — The Speaker
