June 5th, 2006
NOTE FROM THE LIST VET:
Studies of West African primates have
revealed they put together “sentences,”
which appear to be evidence of what is
widely considered to be a uniquely human
ability: stringing words together
to convey a message.
revealed they put together “sentences,”
which appear to be evidence of what is
widely considered to be a uniquely human
ability: stringing words together
to convey a message.
The Top 8 Surprising
Facts About Monkey Grammar
Facts About Monkey Grammar
8> Participles may be dangled, but only by the tail.
7> Multiple exclamation points are perfectly acceptable; each one represents a chest thump.
6> Vowels must be used in sets of five, mix or match.
5> Officious sticklers for correct usage and spelling on simian e-mail lists are known as “grammar poachers.”
4> What preposition does a 500-pound gorilla end his sentence with? Any one he wants.
3> Much of the Bonobo chimpanzee dialect consists of pickup lines.
2> They are very stringent about comma usage, but they’ll fling their colons just about anywhere.
and the Number 1 Surprising Fact About Monkey Grammar…
1> Anything short of a full-on Tarzan yodel is considered “passive voice.”
.
Credits:
Selected from 30 submissions from 11 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:
Larry Hollister, Concord, CA — 1 (16th #1)
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — 2, 7
Guy Payne, Leeds, AL — 3
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA — 4, 5
J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA — 6, 8
Justin Petitmort, Arlandria, VA — Topic
Rose Rieur, Avon, CT — Banner tag
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA — List Vet
RUNNERS UP list — Simian Says
A comma represents the pause one would take between eeeking and
oooking, whereas a period indicates the full stop one takes after
being bonked in the back of the head by a coconut.
(Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH)
Ack before ooop, except after whaaahaaaak.
(Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)
Eskimos may have dozens of words for “ice,” but monkeys have over 700 for “poo.”
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
Flatulence at the end of any sentence means “a la mode.”
(Kent Davidson, Ardmore, PA)
Vowels are “ahh-ahh-ahh,” “eee-eee-eee,” “ooh-ooh-ooh” and sometimes “y.”
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
With howler monkeys, it isn’t so much what you say as it is how loudly you pronounce it.
(Guy Payne, Leeds, AL)
Runners Up list name
(J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA)
(Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH)
Ack before ooop, except after whaaahaaaak.
(Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA)
Eskimos may have dozens of words for “ice,” but monkeys have over 700 for “poo.”
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
Flatulence at the end of any sentence means “a la mode.”
(Kent Davidson, Ardmore, PA)
Vowels are “ahh-ahh-ahh,” “eee-eee-eee,” “ooh-ooh-ooh” and sometimes “y.”
(Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA)
With howler monkeys, it isn’t so much what you say as it is how loudly you pronounce it.
(Guy Payne, Leeds, AL)
Runners Up list name
(J.J. Gertler, Alexandria, VA)
