The Top 8 Provisions of Pet Wills

8> “I, Hoppy, do leave young master Martin an entire bag of brown M&Ms… to remind him of me.”

7> “… and to my companion parrot whom I promised to remember in my will: Hello! Hello! Pretty Girl! Hello!”

6> “I, Pussyfoot, order that the large hairless slaves who did my bidding be freed upon my death.”

5> “… and to my beloved master who loved to fake-throw the ball, I leave $5,000. In Monopoly money, Beyotch.”

4> “… but paws off my stuff, Mittens — I still have eigh

lives left!”

3> “I, Peter Rabbit, leave 1/65th of my estate to each of my children.”

2> “I leave my tail to whoever can catch the darn thing.”

and the Number 1 Provision of Pet Wills…

1> “If I am to be flushed, let my body be the only thing in the bowl at the time.”

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Credits:

Selected from 40 submissions from 18 contributors.
This week’s list authors are:

Rabbi Crut, Bowling Green, OH — 1 (8th #1)
G. Griebenow, Johannesburg, S. Africa — 2, Banner tag
Justin Petitmort, Arlandria, VA — 3, Topic
Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH — 4
Melanie Stephens, Manassas, VA — 5
Nancy Vaine, Stuart, FL — 6
Marlene K. Goodman, Wheeling, IL — 7
Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA — 8
Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA — List Vet